It’s late, but if you still have time, hug a veteran.
I’ve been attending graduation ceremonies at various liberal institutions all weekend, so I haven’t had time to blog. Full updates tomorrow (Tuesday), though, including my brush with “Benchwarmer” Bob Lurtsema.
According to the US Army, Pat Tillman was probably killed by friendly fire. According to an anonymous Afghani official, the firefight that killed Tillman was probably started by a land mine exploding. There were no enemy forces.
So does this make him more of a hero? Less of a hero? Neither. I think it just adds another layer of sadness to the story, knowing that Pat Tillman’s death was entirely preventable. It also means that the man who killed Pat Tillman may very well return to the US and live the rest of his life without ever knowing it.
I don’t know what was wrong with my attempt last time, so I tried it again. According to the game of “Double Dribble” I played this afternoon, the Wolves should beat the Lakers in Game 4 of the Western Conference Finals 129-26.
What does it mean when you pay a quarter of your car’s total worth for repairs in one day? Especially when you haven’t gotten in an accident and nothing has broken down?
Boston teenagers showed one reason why the rest of the world thinks of Americans as fat, slobbering idiots when they responded to a “healthy food-only” proposal for the school vending machines.
Some quotes, and my responses, for your gagging pleasure:
Tanisha Gray (who usually buys Doritos and fruit juice for lunch, according to the article: “I guess I won’t be eating lunch, then. You’d get more money from the vending machines with real snacks.”
And you’d be able to walk to your classes without breaking a sweat if you ate something besides chips and sugarwater.
Sherrell Stokes and Akeem Brown: “Nobody eats bananas or apples for lunch — nobody.” (Stokes) “Who’s going to walk around school eating an apple?” (Brown)
Remember, it’s cool to wear your pants so low they could be kneepads, but heaven forbid you be seen with a healthy *gasp* apple. That takes away all your street cred.
Shirley Gomez: “No way. They can’t do that. If I wanted that kind of food, I could take it from my refrigerator at home. Why do I need to buy it at school?”
Because you’re fat.
Well, maybe.
First, I received an email from Destinyland’s David “don’t call me Sam” Cassel yesterday informing me that our favorite intern is 26, not 24, and that she never graduated from Syracuse. Washingtonienne essentially confirmed this information to Wonkette by refusing to deny it.
Second, Washingtonienne/Jessica Cutler was rear-ended (presumably while driving) yesterday. It works on so many levels…
And on that note, unless we find out that Ms. Cutler spread VD throughout the Senate chambers or that pesky Chief of Staff is named, I’m pretty much done writing about the country’s most famous “Staff Ass.”
Update:
Yeah, so I originally wrote “unless we find out she aborted the baby of one of her half-dozen lovers” in the above post, but deleted it in a rare display of good taste.
But according to this interview on Nerve.com (thanks, anonymous commenter!), we see that not only is Cutler pro-choice, she’s actually had an abortion! What forethought I almost showed.
The Mighty Reason Man/Very Very Happy pretends to be some of your favorite (or least favorite, depending on your politics) bloggers. Read the Lileks one first; it’s hilarious.
Yesterday set a traffic record for Something’s Always Wrong; I got more hits in a day than I have gotten in some months. I’d like to think I suddenly became a better writer, or that my links from calicocat and wizbang (not to mention drudge retort and ilovejennabush) were due to my knack for political insight, but it’s pretty much all people searching for the copious entries I wrote about Washingtonienne.
Two Big Fat Washingtonienne Updates:
1) Wonkette is adamant that “F” is not Frank Jiminez–he’s single and no longer a Chief of Staff, as opposed to the married Chief of Staff who was paying Washingtonienne for butt sex). But(t) as I wrote before, that still leaves at least two options: John Flaherty and Joseph Flynn. Anyone know if they’re married?
We’re also looking for the identity of “threesome dude” (aka “R”), AJ, J, MK, and W.
2) Here’s the New York Post article about Ms. Jessica Cutler.
Former Vikings receiver Buster Rhymes (no, not Busta Rhymes) was going the wrong way (sound familiar, Vikings fans?) on a highway when he was stopped by police, who found him holding a crack pipe in his hand.
When Busta was busted, he said, “I was out of my mind.” Considering he was driving with a crack pipe in one hand, a lighter in the other, and presumably neither on the wheel, I think we can trust him on this one.
In an attempt to predict the final score tonight, I fell back on the old trick of trying to determine the future through video games (don’t laugh; the Star Tribune did this one season with some 12-year-old playing NFL Blitz).
Breaking out my old-school Nintendo, the only basketball game I find is Konami’s “Double Dribble,” which, unfortunately, has only four teams, none of which are Minnesota (understandable, since it was made in 1987). Furthermore, no matter what team you choose, you can only play against Boston (unless you choose Boston). So I picked Chicago, the only team in the Central Time Zone.
Now, I understand this isn’t exactly scientific, but if my Chicago vs. Boston game is anything like the Wolves/Lakers game tonight, the Wolves will win, 133-23. Granted, the score might not be that close; I did miss a couple open threes. And yes, I played on the hardest level–it IS the Western Conference Finals, after all.