Archive for April, 2004

Because Reports of American Deaths Are Greatly Exaggerated

Thursday, April 22nd, 2004

Tami Silicio, the woman who took the stirring photograph below, was fired from her job working for Maytag Aircraft because her picture violated regulations. Her husband was fired, too, apparently for having the gall to be married to her.

Poetic justice would be if Mrs. Silicio ends up winning the Pulitzer for the photo.

Rush Limbaugh, Plagiarist?

Tuesday, April 20th, 2004

Either Rush is stealing a conservative comedienne’s jokes and using them as “political commentary” or a conservative comedienne is stealing Rush’s “political commentary” and using it as a joke in her act. Either way, the idea that Hillary Clinton will either
1) run for Veep this year or
2) have Kerry killed if she is elected under part 1)
is utterly ridiculous.

Here are the lines, for those of you who don’t want to search for it in the links (it’s control-F, by the way):
From Foxnews.com’s Julia Gorin:
“John Kerry better hope Hillary doesn’t decide to become his running mate. Does he really think she’ll let him live long enough to see the first 100 Days? She’s not waiting four years to become President; she’ll let him get inaugurated, but then he’ll go the way of Ron Brown, Vince Foster and Buddy the dog.”

And from Mr. “Big, Fat Idiot” Himself:
“They know that they’re pretty confident Kerry is going to lose and if Kerry wins there’s always Fort Marcy Park.”

Which, of course, is where the body of Vince Foster was found.

Danton Update

Tuesday, April 20th, 2004

His agent, Dave Frost, may have been the target for the hit.

Which, of course, would put Frost in the awkward position of acting as Scott McClellan spin doctor for the man who plotted his murder.

Votes For Oil

Tuesday, April 20th, 2004

So that whole “dropping oil prices come election time” agreement between the Bush Administration and Saudi Arabia looks like it may be true. Read below, as White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan is asked about it, point blank, seven times and, like A-Rod in the first three games of the Yankees/Red Sox series this weekend, goes 0-for-everything.

QUESTION: We’re missing the allegation here, which is that Prince Bandar and the Saudis have made a commitment to lower oil prices to help the President politically. Is that your –

MR. McCLELLAN: I’m not going to speak for Prince Bandar. You can direct those comments to him. I can tell you that what our views are and what he said at the stakeout is what we know his views are, as well.

QUESTION: Does the White House have any knowledge of such a commitment?

MR. McCLELLAN: I’m sorry?

QUESTION: Does the White House have any knowledge of such a commitment?

MR. McCLELLAN: Again, I’m not going to speak for Prince Bandar. You can direct those questions –

QUESTION: Is there a deal?

MR. McCLELLAN: — I wouldn’t speculate one way or the other. You can direct those questions to him, but I’m telling you –

QUESTION: I’m not asking you to speculate either. Do you have knowledge of such a commitment?

MR. McCLELLAN: I’m telling you what our views are and what we’ve stated, and I’m telling you what I do know, which is that our position is very clear when it comes to oil prices and what our views are. And Prince Bandar spoke to you all just a few weeks ago out at the stakeout after meeting with some White House officials and expressed —

QUESTION: So you have no knowledge of such a commitment?

MR. McCLELLAN: — and expressed their view. I’m not going to try to speak for Prince Bandar. You can direct those questions to him.

QUESTION: The President is confident that the American elections are not being manipulated by the world’s largest oil producer?

MR. McCLELLAN: Our view is that the markets should determine —

There’s more. Read it at Talking Points Memo.

And while you’re at it, check out McClellan’s attempt to get out of the “where was Bush during his ‘National Guard service’” issue, courtesy of the White House itself:

Q Scott, a couple of questions I have — the records that you handed out today, and other records that exist, indicate that the President did not perform any Guard duty during the months of December 1972, February or March of 1973. I’m wondering if you can tell us where he was during that period. And also, how is it that he managed to not make the medical requirements to remain on active flight duty status?

MR. McCLELLAN: John, the records that you’re pointing to, these records are the payroll records; they’re the point summaries. These records verify that he met the requirements necessary to fulfill his duties. These records —

Q That wasn’t my question, Scott.

MR. McCLELLAN: These payroll records —

Q Scott, that wasn’t my question, and you know it wasn’t my question. Where was he in December of ’72, February and March of ’73? And why did he not fulfill the medical requirements to remain on active flight duty status?

MR. McCLELLAN: These records — these records I’m holding here clearly document the President fulfilling his duties in the National Guard. The President was proud of his service. The President —

Q I asked a simple question; how about a simple answer?

MR. McCLELLAN: John, if you’ll let me address the question, I’m coming to your answer, and I’d like —

Q Well, if you would address it — maybe you could.

MR. McCLELLAN: I’m sorry, John. But this is an important issue that some chose to raise in the context of an election year, and the facts are important for people to know. And if you don’t want to know the facts, that’s fine. But I want to share the facts with you.

Q I do want to know the facts, which is why I keep asking the question. And I’ll ask it one more time. Where was he in December of ’72, February and March of ’73? Why didn’t he fulfill the medical requirements to remain on active flight duty status in 1972?

MR. McCLELLAN: The President recalls serving both when he was in Texas and when he was in Alabama. And that is what I can tell you.

I guess Ari Fleischer knew what he was doing when he jumped ship last summer.

Ooh, A “New” Coke

Tuesday, April 20th, 2004

Not content with selling Coke in the “classic” and “diet” versions, Coca-Cola is going to introduce “Coca-Cola C2,” a half-calorie/half carb version. Of course, you could get the same number of calories (and that Classic taste!) if you just drank one of the cute little half-pint cans instead. It’s so funny that companies like McDonald’s and Coke are jumping on the low-carb craze. Hey America, I got a weight-loss tip for you: if you want to lose those unsightly pounds, don’t eat at McDonald’s.

Pepsi’s doing the same thing with “Pepsi Edge.” I don’t understand why the Pepsi company thinks consumers need yet another choice that fits between regular and crappy Diet Pepsi. Pepsi One? Do people really watch their weight so closely that the single calorie in Pepsi One is enough to distinguish it as a separate product from Diet Pepsi? Or was the introduction of Pepsi One a few years ago really an implicit acknowledgment that, yes, Diet Pepsi tastes like ass?

Mike Danton Was Gay?

Monday, April 19th, 2004

He also changed his name from Mike Jefferson a few years ago. This story keeps getting weirder and weirder.

Who else, upon hearing the words “Canadian” and “Hitman” thought of this guy?


Bret “The Hitman” Hart

Running (From The) Law

Monday, April 19th, 2004

Patriots cornerback Ty Law was arrested early this morning after fleeing police–on foot!

What’s sad about this? The fact that Law was caught on foot. If he can’t outrun a couple of donut munchers, should the Pats really have re-signed him this offseason?

What’s sadder about this? Yet another person with a previous drug-trafficking incident who was driving an expensive automobile early in the morning committed a traffic violation, fled the police, and is blaming it on racial profiling. I’m more likely to believe a racial profiling claim from someone who doesn’t fit such a shady, er, profile.

Maybe recently-acquired whiny running back Corey Dillon can straighten Law out.

Really, Who Didn’t See This Coming?

Monday, April 19th, 2004

McDonald’s CEO dies of heart attack.

There’s Something About Baseball

Monday, April 19th, 2004

That turns so-called “experts” into blubbering imbeciles. The latest example: the North American Youth Sport Institute completely screwing up the definition of “walk-off home run.”

A walk-off homer is one that ends the game, allowing the players to walk off the field. Period. The term has been in widespread use for at least four years now (check the April 14th entry), so the NAYSI has no reason to be this clueless.

At least “Ask Jack” (the info/advice guy) gives good information/advice about wearing protective cups. His answer as to “who was responsible for 9/11?” however, borders on Limbaugh-esque, with its assertion that “these people” (Middle Eastern people) contribute little to the world in terms of culture or knowledge.

(Link found via Georgy’s new blog.)

Keep Your Enemies Closer

Monday, April 19th, 2004

This is scary.

I’d like to see an investigation into the relationship between top US Government officials (especially the current administration) and Saudi royalty. If there truly is an agreement to cut gas prices in order to help Bush’s candidacy–from the leader of the country from which most of the 9/11 attackers came–then I don’t think impeachment is too wild of an idea to put out there.

Thanks to Oliver Willis, once again, for reporting this.