The Red Sox have landed Curt Schilling, who very well may, as Mikey Walsh says, be the Game 2 starter in the 2004 World Series.
Why? Let’s go back to Mikey for the analysis.
Pitching pitching pitching wins championships. Pitching pitching pitching beats good hitting. Pitching pitching pitching cures cancer. Pitching pitching pitching was the first man to walk on the moon. PITCHING!!!! SCHILLING!!!!
Hall-of-Fame linebacker Lawrence Taylor admits that he used to send hookers to the rooms of opposing teams’ running backs to wear them down on the night before games.
What joke should I use here? Something about a tight end? Or a wide receiver? Double teams? Quick penetration through the line? Maybe I’ll just defer to John Madden, who, last year on Monday Night Football repeated the following phrase at least a half-dozen times while watching replays of a Clinton Portis run up the middle:
“Watch him go right through the a hole.”
Thanks for the image, John. Now pass the Turducken.
It was bad enough when Bush couldn’t pronounce “Milosevic” in one of his presidential debates with Al Gore, but now he can’t even pronounce “Nevada” correctly?
At least he didn’t pronounce it as “Neh VAY dah,” which is how you say the name of the city Nevada, Iowa, which, according to the sign on their homepage, is “the 26th best small town in America.” Look out, number 25!
On the other hand, it was pretty cool of Bush to go to Iraq for Thanksgiving. Unless, of course, he’s just there to get closer to his goal of devouring Turkey.
It may sound like a Trey Parker/Matt Stone movie, but it isn’t. US pain specialist Stuart Meloy has invented a device–more like a couple of electrodes, really, that can give women instant orgasms. A pain expert who invents an orgasm device, huh? I guess I understand why they say it’s a fine, fine line between pleasure and pain.
PS: Of course, if you’re this lady, this is the last device you need.
The Associated Press story about the sad death of former Negro League star Bubba Hyde says he is enshrined in the “Negro Leagues Hall of Fame in Milwaukee.” Unless they opened one in Wisconsin for some reason, I’m pretty sure the only Negro League Hall of Fame is in Kansas City.
If indeed this is an error, it is just another example of how ignorant most people (including baseball fans) are about the rich history of the Negro Leagues. It may also be another example of how coast-centric people are in this country. “Milwaukee, Kansas City, they’re all the same.”
It’s been a bad week for the Queen of England. First Dubya and his entourage tore up her garden, messed with her TV reception, and scared away her flamingoes. If that weren’t enough, tonight Homer Simpson drove his rental car through the gates of Buckingham Palace and rear-ended her golden carriage (see picture below).
Last Saturday, I attended Brookline High School’s 21st Century Fund Fundraiser/Distinguished Alumni Awards. The award this year went to Conan O’Brien (Class of ‘81), who, along with Brookline High alums Bob Kraft (’59) (who donated $500,000 to the fund), Theo Epstein (’91), Lew Schneider (’79), and Michael Dukakis (’51). Mike Wallace (’35) was not there, but lunch with him was one of the prizes in the extremely expensive live auction. I was fortunate to speak with all of the aforementioned people, save for the two Michaels, one of whom was not in attendance. Michael is my middle name; I wonder if there’s a connection?
Conan told me that he can’t go to Yankees games because he’d have to wear a Red Sox hat, and that would be too much trouble. Epstein said he couldn’t comment on rumors that the Red Sox were interested in 2003 AL MVP Alex Rodriguez, since he was still under contract.
Schneider was a super nice guy (especially for someone who lives in LA), and I only spoke to Kraft about 30 seconds before he had to take off.
My paper isn’t online, but you can read accounts of the event here and here.
I would have found out about this last Thursday, had my issue of Sports Illustrated not arrived 5 days late, finally showing up in my mailbox at about 6:00 last night.
Anyway, Steve Silver lent me his copy of the Illy to see the latest development in the eunuchial life of everyone’s favorite gelding, Doug Christie. And yes, I know eunuchial is not a word.
It seems that controlling her husband’s behavior, not allowing him to look at women, and getting a female team employee fired for delivering her husband a phone message wasn’t enough for Jackie Christie. No, now she has Doug desigining purses (sorry for the google cache link; it’s not on ESPN’s website anymore). At least now Doug will have something to swing at Rick Fox the next time they fight.
You know, all those people who bemoan professional sports for being nothing but a bunch of steroid-using, overly-macho, under-educated beasts should take a look at Doug Christie. And laugh.
Just like Peter and Chris Griffin’s favorite show, “Gumbel 2 Gumbel,” The Family Guy itself may be returning to network TV, thanks to the gawdy amount of DVD sales it generated.
And maybe, just maybe, this return can get Fox to update their Family Guy site (linked above) for the first time in nearly two years.
The Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court ruled today that the state’s ban on gay marriage is unconsitutional. A best-case scenario would give gays the right to legally marry–not just to have “civil unions”–by 2006. A worst-case scenario involves Governor Mitt Romney, a big stamp that says “veto,” and some out-of-context passage from the Bible.