The Old Blog

I have been home in Minnesota since Thursday, attending my grandfather’s funeral and commiserating with relatives. Regular blogging should resume Tuesday–Wednesday at the latest.

My grandfather died early yesterday morning. While I was happy to be chosen to write his obituary, it is not something I would wish on anyone.

If I wasn’t so damn poor, I’d buy one of Dan Lewis’ anti-Selig creations.
How can you argue with this?

A disgruntled Yankee fan is trying to sell Jeff Weaver on eBay. The bid right now is $99,999,999.00, which must mean that Steinbrenner’s just bidding against himself again.

Here are some California campaign slogans, most of which I thought up on the bus yesterday:

Arnold Schwarzenegger:
“Am I running? It’s not a rumor”
“Remember the last time an ethnic Austrian took power on behalf of a rightist party when taking advantage of an economic meltdown? No? Good.” (via Fark, though I wish it were mine)
“Want to screw the Kennedys? Follow my lead.”
“My new movie will be called ‘End of Grays.’”

Arianna Huffington:
“My ex-husband thinks I’d be a good governor…and so does his boyfriend.”
“Straight eyes, for queer guys.”
“It’s like Will & Grace, but older–and in power.”
“I courted the gay vote for years.”

Larry Flynt:
“I love Bush, but I can’t stand that President of ours.”
“Behind California…especially the women.”
“I can’t fuck up; I’m always on top.”

Gary Coleman
“Want a smaller government? Here’s your answer.”
“Watchu’ talkin’ ’bout, Davis?”

And finally, this quote from Bill Maher:

Between trying to impeach Bill Clinton, Florida 2000, and the recall in California, I’m beginning to think that Republicans will do anything to win an election - except get the most votes.

Steve Silver sums up my feelings about Al Franken’s new book and the cowardly response by Faux News. Citing Franken’s lack of funniness as a reason to sue him over his use of Fair and Balanced? Fox News has given up its right to ever deride frivilous lawsuits.

For someone who dishes it out more than just about anyone on TV, Bill O’Reilly sure as hell can’t take it. Outside of his show (when he can–and does–yell “cut the mike” when someone is outarguing him), O’Reilly has proven to be quite a poor debater. And the right once again proves that it’s fine for large corporations to do the same things they can’t stand individuals doing (murder someone? You get the chair. Screw millions out of their life savings? Eh, we’ll “conduct an investigation”).

Boston radio station WBCN bought every ticket to the last showing of IMDB’s worst-rated movie “Gigli” yesterday, giving out t-shirts that said “I survived Gigli” to anyone still in their seats when the movie (I cannot bring myself to call it a film) ended.

Who knew that J-Lo’s “turkey time” quote would be so prescient in describing the film’s (lack of) fiscal success?

Brittany Murphy, who always looks like one of those little girls who got into mommy’s makeup and just smeared it under her eyes, had the following to say about Ashton “18 Minutes of Fame and Counting” Kutcher’s new relationship with Demi “I can’t get any” Moore:

I suppose the crux of their relationship basically means to him that age doesn’t matter and to her that size doesn’t matter. Good going for him, I suppose.

So does her starring turn with Ashton in “Just Married” mean that to Brittany, quality art doesn’t matter?

A day after announcing they were going to cut the pay of US soldiers stationed in Iraq by $225 a month, the Pentagon and Dubya reversed course, keeping the raises intact. It is the height of hypocrisy that the same governing bodies that tell us to support our troops (which I do; the more people in the army, the less likely my ass is drafted) have tried to significantly cut wages and benefits from veterans twice in the last few months. Joe “remember me?” Lieberman had the following to say:

The idea is just unconscionable. The government can afford the billions they give in tax cuts to millionaires, but there’s not enough to give a little something to men and women who are putting their lives on the line.

It’s partisan rhetoric, but still very true.

I’m curious as to how the right-wing nuts who couldn’t understand that it was indeed possible to be against the war in Iraq, yet supportive of the troops feel about this.

Meanwhile, over 120 American soldiers have died since Dubya told us that “major combat operations” were over.

Remember the “terror stock exchange” idea that the government proposed, then pulled, after complaints? Some enterprising private citizens have made their own, complete with scrolling ticker.