The Old Blog

John Kerry introduced a bipartisan bill to award Jackie Robinson the Congressional Medal of Honor and to designate a “day” to celebrate his accomplishments. I consider Jackie Robinson to be one of the bravest men who ever lived, I fully support both the Medal and the “day” in his honor, and I doubt that there was another man alive who could have succeeded as he did when breaking baseball’s color barrier in 1947, but isn’t this a bit superfluous when the nation is 1) at war, and 2) facing massive fiscal and employment crises? Wouldn’t 1997, when baseball retired Robinson’s number, or the World Series, or hell, sometime while he was alive have been a better time to award Jackie the highest civilian honor? Is anyone out there going to introduce another obvious, feel-happy bill proclaiming “Love is Good?” Or are certain members of Congress just trying to attach their names to true American heroes, possibly to bolster their Presidential chances?

Todd Jones made history today by being one of the only athletes to publicly stick to his anti-gay statements. In fact, his only real regret was that he publicly “got caught” with views that he knows are politically incorrect. As incensed as I am at his views, I wholeheartedly agree with Rob Neyer that suspending Jones is not the answer. Look at John Rocker, who was turned into a redneck martyr after receiving a 30-day suspension as a result of his anti-women/gay/foreigner/punk/minority views. And after all, if I support the first amendment as it pertains to movies like “The People vs. Larry Flynt,” it would be hypocritical of me not to support it in Todd Jones’ case. Strangely, all the people on Neyer’s message board who criticized him for being “too liberal” when quoting the first amendment rights of Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins have had nothing to say about his defense of Todd Jones’ right to say whatever bigoted thing he wants.

Sexx. That’s how Beck spells it.

Alabama’s Legislature upheld a 1998 ban on the sale of all sex toys. This is incredibly stupid (and, I have to imagine, takes away freedoms formerly enjoyed by many an Alabamian). Fortunately, by renaming sex toys with other, less offensive monikers (calling vibrators “muscle massagers,” for instance) a good chunk of the industry is still alive and well.

A quote from the above “muscle massagers” link:

“Thank you JMP! I keep my Magic Wand by my bed, and it’s helped me so much. I just massage my neck or hands whenever they hurt, and I sleep sooo much better.”

You keep this “massager,” endorsed by Dan Savage for female sexual stimulation (scroll to the bottom), by your bed and use it to make you feel “sooo” much better? I don’t think it’s your hands you’re stimulating, sister…

In the wake of Jae Kuk Ryu’s foolish decision to throw baseballs at a protected animal (the osprey died a week later, by which time Ryu had already been demoted and had charges filed against him), ESPN.com offers the top (or, perhaps bottom) 10 instances of animal cruelty in sports. Most of these I already knew about (or have downloaded the video for, in the case of the Randy Johnson/Dove incident), but Kevin Mitchell cutting off the head of his girlfriend’s cat? What the hell was that about?

On the other hand, if you have a prospect who can’t kill a bird with a thrown baseball, maybe he should be demoted due to poor velocity.

Todd Jones is the latest professional athlete to come out of the closet…as a bigot. Let’s take his comments line-by-line:

I wouldn’t want a gay guy being around me
Why?

It’s got nothing to do with me being scared.
That’s good. So what’s the problem?

That’s the problem: All these people say he’s got all these rights.
Well he would have rights, as an American citizen (or legal immigrant).

Yeah, he’s got rights or whatever, but he shouldn’t walk around proud.
Don’t you walk around proud? Or are you ashamed to be a pitcher for the Rockies? Oh, it’s about sexual preference. Well are you proud to be heterosexual? Or, are you ashamed to like girls?

It’s like he’s rubbing it in our face. ‘See me, Hear me roar.’
Sometimes people rub their own faces in shit, and then complain about the smell. Are you really close-minded enough to think that every single gay male “rubs it in your face?” Or are you scared, just like those who make the self-fulfilling prophecies that gays in the military ruins their morale?

We’re not trying to be close-minded
You’re failing. And it’s “closed-minded,” you imbecile.

but then again, why be confrontational when you don’t really have to be?
So far, the only confrontational person is you, Mr. Jones. And you are confronting a hypothetical character!

Mr. Jones also thinks the scary homosexual (of whom he’s not scared) better be a Hall-of-Famer.
Because if (the team) thinks for one minute he’s disrupting the clubhouse — if he doesn’t hit 50 homers or win 20 games — they’re not going to put up with that.
So disruptive players have to hit 50 homers or win 20 games? Someone better tell Carl Everett, John Rocker, David Wells, and most of the Mets that they’re a little short.

Of course we all know that we’ll see a retraction/apology in the next couple days to the effect of “I’m not a bigot. And anybody who really knows me knows that there isn’t a prejudiced bone in my body, blah blah blah.”

Hopefully, the ultimate effect this will all have is an increased attendance for the new play about a gay baseball player “Take Me Out.” And for those of you who want to read more about homosexuality and baseball (and believe me, I know at least a couple of my regular readers who do), check out The Dreyfus Affair: A Love Story by Peter Lefcourt and Behind the Mask: My Double Life in Baseball by Dave Pallone, former Major League ump.

According to a new survey, 93% of Evangelical Christians (who surprisingly make up 46% of Americans, according to the article) distrust the media. These of course are the same people who regularly watch–and quote–”spinless” FOX News: “We distort; you recite.”

One caveat about this survey: it was taken by an Evangelical foundation, so the numbers may be a bit–how do you say–skewed toward the traditional Evangelical belief system. Just like the “Are you a Libertarian?” political “tests” handed out on street corners and at State Fairs that try to convince everyone that they’re truly a Libertarian at heart (sample question: Do you believe the Government should be able to shoot citizens at will? If you answered “no,” you must be a Libertarian!), I have to believe that the wording of the questions led many people to answer according to the Evangelical doctrine. For an example of said loaded wording, see the “special legal rights” statistic below.

Other findings of the silent near-majority:
98 percent are in favor of school prayer
85 percent want schools to teach creationism
99 percent support public display of the Ten Commandments
98 percent oppose “special legal rights” for homosexuals

Apparently separation of Church and State only applies to Synagogues and Mosques.

The Minnesota Vikings have been roundly criticized for missing their turn in the first round of last weekend’s NFL draft. Nearly every story I have read has made mention of the fact that the Vikings screwed up their first round pick last year. I have only one problem with this: it isn’t true. Writers I normally agree with (or at least respect), such as Gregg Easterbrook (of “Tuesday Morning Quarterback” fame), Len Pasquerelli, and Don Banks, have jumped on the Vikings for making draft day mistakes two years in a row.

Here’s a little background: in the 2002 NFL Draft, it was the Cowboys, not the Vikings, who ran out of time. The Vikings were slated to pick next and nearly fell over themselves attempting to claim Ryan Sims. It was then announced that Dallas and Kansas City had worked out a deal–supposedly before the time had run out–and Sims went to the Chiefs, instead.

This year, the Vikings were in the Cowboys’ shoes. They attempted to make a trade, had one approved just before time ran out, but weren’t able to get it announced before the next team was on the clock. This time, the next team (and the team after that) were allowed to make–and keep–their picks. The Vikings ended up with the player they wanted anyway (Kevin Williams), but are now the laughingstock of the league–even more so.

The Vikes got screwed from each end of similar situations in successive years, and the short memories of football pundits led them to talk about Minnesota’s “history” of screwing up the actual process of making picks. It took me less than a minute to find this article and this article, both of which explain that last year’s problems were Dallas’ fault, and yet it seems that none of the “experts” can be forced to take that much time to do some basic research. You wanna talk about screwed up Viking drafts? Talk about Dimitrius “God told me to quit football–no–kill myself–twice” Underwood.

Kevin Garnett’s statement “If we win [game 4]…we feel like it’s over” has caused many NBA observers, including ESPN.com’s Marc Stein, to wonder what he was thinking. Stein called Garnett’s comments “gutsy” and “bold,” heady adjectives for such an innocuous comment. The Wolves were up two games to one going into game 4. If they won, they would have been up 3-1, with three games remaining–two at home–to get victory number 4. In addition, they would have swept the Lakers in the Staples Center, a remarkable achievement. Plus, Lakers coach Phil Jackson has never won a playoff series having been down 3-1–or even 2-1, I believe. And Garnett didn’t even predict a victory–he said “if” they won! If they won, they most certainly would have been in the driver’s seat, and that is hardly a groundbreaking claim. If the Wolves had been down 3-1 and predicted a victory, that would have been gutsy and bold.

Aaron Gleeman (of Aaron’s Baseball Blog) offers some excellent analysis as to why A.J. Burnett is already back on the DL. For those of you who like baseball–especially those Minnesotans of you–do yourself a favor and click on Aaron’s site. His daily output and insight are both incredible, especially for someone who has classes, as well.

Both the outstanding Joe McCombs and the foulmouthed Alex Hutton answered last week’s music trivia question correctly, so they both get gold stars. Here you go, guys.
For Joe. For Alex.