And Hoping Each Time That His Next Leap…Will Be the Leap Home
How do you turn $800 into $350 million within two weeks? There are three ways:
1) Hire a cheap hitman to kidnap Bill Gates’ wife, then extort the money out of him
2) Go overboard with insider trading
3) Come from the future, secure in your knowledge of how the stock market will act.
Andrew Carlssin claims to have used tactic number 3, while the authorities believe his actions more closely mirror number 2. It seems authorities grew suspicious when Carlssin made 126 high-risk trades and came out way ahead on every single one of them. Even Eddie Cicotte knew you couldn’t be that obvious when cheating.
In exchange for his freedom, Mr. Carlssin has kindly offered to tell where Osama bin Laden is hiding (you mean we still haven’t found him yet?) and what the cure for AIDS is. Strangely enough, the Security and Exchange Commission can’t find any evidence of Carlssin’s existence before December, 2002.