The Old Blog

In the wake of its most-watched entertainment program ever (the “Joe Millionaire” finale), FOX is set to air the first episode of “Married By America” Monday night. I’m happy to see it (but certainly not watch it), if only because it’s a refreshing change from the two-month “engagement” of “Bachelor 2″ couple Aaron and Helene and the “you don’t really win anything, but he chooses you” “Joe Millionaire.” At least in this romantic reality show, the winners (losers?) will be forced to marry each other and hopefully realize how stupid they truly are. If FOX is really mean, it would make them sign a contract to stay married for at least a year–now that would be entertaining!

In a commercial advertising the show, a bartender explains why she decided to take part: all the guys she meets are drunk. I wonder if it has occurred to her that it might have something to do with where she works.

When I logged onto Instant Messenger today, what headlines did I see? “Kobe [Bryant]‘s on Fire.” Right above that? “10 Die in Nursing Home Blaze.” Yet another reason to question AOL’s intelligence.

Two Radcliffe College students have torn down a nine-foot snow phallus, much to the dismay of the sculpture’s creators. They claim to have wrecked the work in order to spare others from being “offended” by the sculpture. Ironically, they ended up offending a good deal of people who believe in the First Amendment. What would they have done if a painting in the Museum of Fine Arts offended them, take it off the walls? I don’t think a nine-foot phallus is great art, and I question the wisdom of a men’s crew team building one on a predominantly female campus, but tearing it down was not the answer. There were other avenues they could have pursued – avenues that didn’t involve tearing down a creation that others had spent hours making. Those who are offended by art should not take it upon themselves to police what others should see.

Ohio has finally passed the 14th Amendment to the Constitution – albeit 135 years too late. The Amendment, which gives all citizens the right to vote regardless of race, was passed by the state in 1867, repealed in 1868, and eventually made into law later that year when 3/4 of the states ratified it. Ohio is not the only state to leave the law unpassed for over a century; Kentucky ratified the Amendment in 1976.

As Rob Neyer predicted in one of this week’s columns, the Major League Baseball Veterans Committee, under new voting rules, failed to elect anyone to the Hall of Fame this year. This means that Ron Santo, Gil Hodges, Tony Oliva, and the others will have to wait to be enshrined until at least 2005. This is a shame, because not only does Santo deserve to be in the Hall, but he is also suffering from diabetes – both his legs have been amputated within the last year – and may well pass away before the next vote occurs. I don’t believe Tony Oliva deserves enshrinement, but as a Twins fan, I would love to see more members of my favorite team in the Hall. I also hope Marvin Miller eventually makes it, as his influence in the Players’ Union has shaped the current state of baseball as much as anyone.

The Minneapolis Star Tribune reports that underage drinkers are responsible for 20% of all alcohol consumed in the United States. Sadly, this number is a correction of the earlier, erroneous 25% estimate. Beer pong, anyone?

If the US goes to war, CBS may switch coverage of the NCAA tournament to its sister cable stations MTV, VH1, and TNN. As Dick Vitale would say, “This ain’t Rock ‘n’ Jock, baby!”

Wheaton College, super-conservative University and alma mater of Billy Graham has finally entered the…er…17th Century by allowing its students to dance. They also loosened restrictions regarding smoking and alcohol use for their faculty members and graduate students. Quoth Lisa Nudd, editor of the campus newspaper, “I know I danced off-campus with my boyfriend. It was nice.” In 75 years, perhaps her great-granddaughter will know the privilege of holding hands in public. But don’t hold your breath.

Mike Tyson knocked out Clifford Etienne tonight in the amount of time it takes me to put in my contacts. Just imagine what he could have done had he been prepared.

Tonya Harding lost her professional debut in the undercard bout.

This is the weirdest example of subversive marketing I’ve seen in quite some time. cool-2b-real.com, sponsored by the Beef Council. I’m in the middle of “Fast Food Nation” right now, and this doesn’t make me any more comfortable with the American Beef Industry.