The Old Blog

The current flap over anti-black leader comments in the movie “Barbershop” makes no sense whatsoever. Jesse Jackson may think he is doing the black community a favor by protesting against the scene insulting Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King, Jr., and himself, but he is really just showing his ignorance and fragile ego. During the scene in question, one character says Rosa Parks got more publicity than other blacks who refused to give up bus seats due to her position in the NAACP (true: she was a secretary there and there were other blacks who refused to stand on the bus–some who did so before Rosa Parks–that aren’t in our history books), that Martin Luther King, Jr. cheated on his wife many times (true), that Rodney King deserved to get beaten up (not true: nobody deserves to be beaten, but if King hadn’t kept coming at officers after being hit by a tranquilizer, he wouldn’t have been in so much trouble), and, to top things off, “f— Jesse Jackson.”

Jackson further undermines his position by requesting that ALL video rental chains that carry the film delete the lines in question. This is patently ridiculous. First, the character who speaks the controversial lines is roundly taken to task by the rest of the characters in the barbershop. Second, far worse things have been said about blacks in movies (Mississippi Burning, Glory, Malcolm X, etc.), and Jackson hasn’t asked these movies to cut dialogue. Granted, none of these movies have insulted Jesse personally. Third, the First Amendment protects the rights of people to say whatever they want–including fictional people who are given these lines to make a point–a point Jackson missed completely. Fourth, the black community as a whole has much worse problems than a critically-acclaimed movie. Why isn’t Jackson making a big stink about these issues? Fifth, BET does more harm to the black community than anything else in America. Its videos full of “booty dancers,” drugs, and money further stereotypes of blacks more than any racist, KKK-inspired propaganda. As an experiment recently, I turned BET on ten times in a day. Six times I found videos featuring booties, drugs, or money/cars/bling-bling. Three times commercials were on. Only once did I turn to BET and find any sort of news or information being disseminated.

Jesse is an example of a larger problem–people and groups criticizing movies without having seen them or taking them in context. Bob Dole famously railed against “Pulp Fiction” and “Trainspotting” (which include fewer than 10 deaths combined) even though he hadn’t–and probably still hasn’t–seen either film. Of course, he never chastised any Arnold “If I’m a Republican, Why Can’t I Make Money on a Movie-Themed Restaurant?” Schwarzenegger films, any number of which are much more violent and contain much more death. From “South Park” (if your 12-year-old is quoting an R-rated movie, it’s your own damn fault for not monitoring them) to “Trainspotting” (if any movie has argued against heroin use, it’s this one), people pick and choose scenes rather than looking at the whole picture (pun partially intended).

Another larger problem this brings up is the labelling of anything that’s not pro-minority “racist” or “sexist” or “whatever-ist.” While racism/sexism/etc. are large problems in this country, far too much gets blamed on them. Sometimes the non-black person is better for the job; sometimes the black person is better. Sometimes the non-female is more deserving of the scholarship; some times the female is more deserving. Sometimes senior citizens are terrible drivers; sometimes they aren’t. But those who blame everything that doesn’t go their way on the innate prejudice of those making the decisions are further in denial than anyone should ever be.

The Minnesota Twins stuck another dagger in the collective hearts of Czar Bud Selig and Owner Carl “Montgomery Burns” Pohlad by defeating the Oakland A’s 5-4 in a nailbiting fifth game of the ALDS. I am looking forward to the media attention the Twins will surely be receiving this week. The line on whether Stuart Scott will ever learn to pronounce “Guardado” and “Pierzynski” is currently 5-2. Oakland attracted only 32,146 fans to a stadium that seats well over 40,000.

The annual Ig-Nobel Prize winners were announced Thursday. Among the winners are a dog-to-human translator (reminiscent of an early Simpsons episode) and a paper on belly-button lint, which concludes that the lint is really made from clothing fibers and skin cells. I can’t help but think I could have saved the author of the paper a lot of time…

Arizona talentless hack (aka Morning Radio Shock Jock) Beau Duran showed that there is no level too low for him to stoop. Duran, whose show is on Phoenix radio station KUPD 98, called Flynn Kile, the wife of recently deceased St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Darryl Kile, and asked if she was bringing a date to the Cardinals/ Arizona Diamondbacks playoff game.

Just as offensive is the response of Duran’s boss, Chuck Artigue, who refused to discipline the moron, claiming, “There’s a thousand things that morning shows do that are far more concerning.” Yeah? Name ‘em.

I hope both of these jerks lose their jobs. If you agree, send an email to opinions@98kupd.com.

I have been cast in the role of Bill in Never Swim Alone, by Daniel MacIvor (if you haven’t heard of him, it’s ok…he’s Canadian). The director, senior Dan Katz, is directing this show for his thesis. It goes up December 6 and comes down December 7. According to Mr. Katz, the show is “…an unusual play. But it’s great, really. Imagine David Ives and Harold Pinter having a child. In Canada.” Uh-huh. The MIT Arts Calendar has some additional information on the show.

I submitted a screenplay to Project Greenlight this morning, beating the 3:00 am (Eastern) deadline by 10 minutes. Last year’s contest winner, Pete Jones, was allowed to direct his own screenplay. However, anybody who saw HBO’s series documenting the process could easily guess why they have split the contest into “Writer” and “Director” parts this time around. Jones rarely looked like he knew what he was doing, and frankly, who can blame him? When your contest is specifically geared toward those who aren’t yet successful, you are going to end up with contestants who lack the skills to do things as well as a successful professional. If, glory of glories, my screenplay wins (not that I’m holding my breath), I will be happy to hand over the reins to somebody who won a nationwide contest in directing.

It started out poorly for the Twins. I’m not talking about the three errors and four unearned runs in the first two innings; I’m talking about getting lost on the way to the stadium. Several Twins players and General Manager Terry Ryan took the BART the wrong way and arrived late to the stadium. Quote of the day belongs to first baseman Doug “If You Think My Last Name is Bad Now, My Mom’s Maiden Name is Kechiemesiter” Mientkiewicz: “We’ve had guys go to the Astrodome even though the Astros don’t play there anymore. We’ve had guys go to Shea Stadium when we played the Yankees. You just realize we’re not the brightest group of players. But when you’re with the general manager, you figure you ought to be in good hands.”

Well the Twins refused to roll over and die or play the “just happy to be in the playoffs” game on their way to a 7-5 win. As I told my friend Steve yesterday, Art Howe made a bad decision starting Tim Hudson in Game 1. The Twins have a below .500 record against lefties, so why not hit them with Mulder and Zito right away? Now that the Twins have beaten the righthanded starter Tim Hudson they have effectively reversed the homefield advantage the A’s had. Additionally, since Hudson pitched Game 1, he will be back on the mound for Game 4 in Minnesota. Had Howe thrown both lefties first, he could have just given the Twins Game 3 with Hudson (the Twins nearly always win Game 1 of a home series, as the visiting team isn’t used to the Metrodome), and relied on winning three of the other four games, which would have been started by two of the best lefties in baseball.

Sometimes you make your own breaks; sometimes they just come to you.

When I was younger, I wondered whether we as humanity would someday be able to mine the unconscious and subconscious 90% of our brains that we supposedly never use for every experience we had ever had. “Someday,” I thought, “we won’t have to argue about who said what, because we would have records of it.” I actually believed that all information–video, audio, thought, and everything else, could be stored somehow, somewhere, and in the future, all human experience would be accessible as easily as if it were in an old library card catalog.

Of course, I also believed that God could make little counters that would tell you every number you needed to know about your life–days remaining to live, number of jelly doughnuts eaten, most mosquito bites you’d ever have at once, etc. Blogging helps bring us closer to the first idea. The second one, however, remains well out of reach.